"I describe my look as a blend of mother goose, cinderella, and the local hooker!"

"People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them."

"People say I look so happy - and I say, 'That's the Botox.'"

"It's almost like being trapped in some other form. The real me is so different from the way I look on the outside."

"I just can't stand to look plain, 'cause that don't fit my personality. I may be a very artificial-looking person, but the good news is, I'm very real on the inside."

"My aunt in Knoxville would bring newspapers up, which we used for toilet paper. Before we used it, we'd look at the pictures."

"I'm in showbiz. I look at my boobs like they're show horses or show dogs. You've got to keep them groomed."

"My husband says I look like a Q-tip."

"I'm a proud person. I'm not vain. I look at it like it is. If you've got the money and you're going to be out there, you owe it to people not to look like a dog if you can help it."

"I'm easy to look like, so there are lots and lots of Dolly look-alikes."