The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal - or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be.

In the silence I heard Bastet, who had retreated under the bed, carrying on a mumbling, profane monologue. (If you ask how I knew it was profane, I presume you have never owned a cat.)

The approval of a cat cannot but flatter the recipient.

Sekhmet crawled onto Ramses's lap and began to purr. 'The creature oozes like a furry slug,' said Ramses, eyeing it without favor.

There is no creature better at delicate rudeness than a cat...

The cat required far less attendance than a human child, which is one of the reasons why spinster ladies prefer felines to babies.