Finally,’ I said. ‘Something we agree on.’ ‘I bet we agree on a lot.’ He plucked a mangled maple-nut donut out and sat back, examining it in the fluorescent light. ‘Such as?’ ‘All the important stuff,’ Gus said. ‘The chemical composition of Earth’s atmosphere, whether the world needs six Pirates of the Caribbean movies, that White Russians should only be drunk you’re already sure you’re going to vomit anyway.

You shouldn’t be married to an asshole, I guess. Probably no one should, except maybe other assholes.

I am sure it is something really groundbreaking and important, Totally new and fresh. Like a story about a disillusioned white guy, wandering the world, misunderstood and coldly horny.

Miss you so much it hurts.Seconds later, she texts back, The feeling is mushrooms,followed by a second text reading, Yes, autocorrect, I meant to say mushrooms, not mutual. Good catch.Life without you does feel a little bit like fungus, I reply. But definitely less tasty.