Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste.

Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.

... it's simply wrong to always order [kids] to stop that fighting. There are times when one child is simply defending his rights and damned well should be fighting.

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory -- an empty bottle of gin.

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.

Grandmas can shed the yoke of responsibility, relax and enjoy their grandchildren in a way that was not possible when they were raising their own children. And they can glow in the realisation that here is their seed of life that will harvest generations to come.

I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.