A mentor is someone who is willing to give you advice that isn't in their own best interest. It takes a real mentor to put you first.

Back when I was struggling with all of this, my boss saw that I was having difficulty contribution in meetings and noted how very different this was from his experience of me when we met one-on-one. To urge me to speak up more, he began giving me assignments before each meeting. He would call me and say, "Fran in today's meeting, I am going to ask you to give everyone an update on the restructuring".

Thinking of others isn't a problem as long as you don't fall into the trap of giving and never asking for anything in return from the people you're networking with.

What I wish I knew when I asked for a raise in my twenties:- Remember: the world is not going to end if you get "no" for an answer- You have succeeded before- Be confident and keep it positive- Stop waiting for the perfect moment- Use "no" to fuel your next steps

Before you arrive at any networking event, read the industry trade news beforehand Better still, read the trades on a regular basis, Be prepared to discuss the news or ask a question about what you've read. If you're meeting with a specific person, be sure to have checked their Twitter, LinkedIn, and blogs beforehand. This kind of preparation will give you confidence going into a meeting.

When faced with difficult situation and to develop confidence at such crucial times, ask yourself these:- When have I done something difficult... and survived?- When have I made wise choices?- What process have I used when making successful decisions?

Remember, nonverbal communication is extremely important. Be cognisant of your posture, eye contact, and the amount of physical space you take up.

I asked Alicia to think about the people she knew whose work she admired.

When you put yourself in the other person's shoes, you can see that the person critiquing you is merely trying to help.