If anger were mileage, I'd be a very frequent flyer, right up there in First Class.

What doesn’t polite society, in all seriousness, want to discuss? Sex, money, political corruption, bodily functions, religion, loss and despair?These have been the very subjects attracting writers of comedy since Aristophanes penned “Lysistrata” as a vehicle for the young Joan Rivers.

Recognizing not only intellectually but psychologically and physically, through laughter, that we are not the only ones feeling such a range of emotions makes us feel less alone, provides a renewed sense of perspective, allows us to hit an emotional “reset” button and can relieve stress.

There are now skin products supposedly created with 24-karat gold extract. I guess if financial times got really tough, you could always pawn your own head.

Power is the ability to persuade stupid people to do intelligent things and intelligent people to do stupid things. This is why power is dangerous.

As a writer, I roll around in words the way cats roll around in catnip.

How about "diamonds are a girl's best friends"? Nope. It should be switched around and pointed out, instead, that your best friends are diamonds.

A truly thoughtful lover would not attempt to arouse you with the subtlety of a chimp trying to dial a rotary phone.

I've been married for a long time and there are days when I still wonder, 'Excuse me, but who is this man?