In short, we should always ask ourselves how the other person's point of view might differ from our own. We should give weight to what we know about their priorities and preferences, to the history of the relationship between us, and to the context of the current situation.

Empathy involves stepping into another person's shoes in order to gain an understanding of their emotional experience and then conveying our insights to them accordingly.

By having an additional agenda, we come across not as someone who is lonely, but as someone who is passionate about our hobby, or serious about our creative endeavors.

By setting out to give rather than get, we can focus on the person in need instead of ourselves, which in turn makes us feel less self-conscious, less insecure, and less vulnerable.

The effects of excessive or unresolved guilt impair our communication with the person we've harmed and limit our ability to relate to him or her in an authentic manner...

Certainly when we are in the throes of unrelenting or excessive guilt it is extremely difficult for us to enjoy our lives in any substantial way. Things that used to bring pleasure, joy, or excitement lose their appeal, not because we no longer enjoy them, but because we no longer permit ourselves to do so.

When we fail in tasks in which our expectations for success are low, the psychological wounds failure inflicts are relatively minor. But when we possess the necessary skills and abilities to succeed and have expectations of doing so we are likely to feel much stronger pressure to perform well.

When we fail repeatedly or when we respond to failure in ways that set back our confidence, our self-esteem, and our chances of future success, we run the risk of allowing our emotional chest cold to turn into psychological pneumonia.

...research has repeatedly demonstrated the most effective way to treat psychological wounds failure inflicts is to find the positive lessons in what happened.