But mostly, I missed watching you two together; I missed watching you watch him, and him watch you; I missed how thoughtful you were with each other, missed how thoughtlessly, sincerely affectionate you were with him; missed watching you listen to each other, the way you both did so intently.

Could you have a real friendship if some part of you was always expecting betrayal?

You have to talk about these things while they're fresh. Or you'll never talk about them. Because it's going to get harder and harder the longer you wait, and it's going to fester inside you, and you're always going to think you're to blame. You'll be wrong, of course, but you'll always think it.

This isn't fair, he would think in those moments. This isn't friendship. It's something, but it's not friendship. He felt he had been hustled into a game of complicity, one he never intended to play.