A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.

Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it.

A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him.

The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

Nothing annoys a man as to hear a woman promising to love him "forever" when he merely wanted her to love him for a few weeks.

Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?

A man may talk inspiringly to a woman about love in the abstract--but the look in his eyes is always perfectly concrete.

A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman--a married man needs only an excuse.