You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right. I'm like a swan at the moment. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad.

Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.

It's all very well having a great pianist playing but it's no good if you haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.

I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me - I'm like a bad rash and not easily curable.

It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.

I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark.

The dietician is going to get rid of that when he comes in. Although, first, we've got to get a dietician.

This club needs an impetus of energy - but I just feel tired to be honest. I'm worn out.

There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth.