Oh, this is going to be fun; he actually thinks he's teaching me something.

I felt the human disease that is ignorance suddenly leave my body. Just like that. Like a hot, desperate piss after a long car ride.

I tried to will them with my super mental powers so he’d put them around my waist, but apparently I had no super mental powers.

I can’t sit through this thing with you next to me flashing your man cave the whole time.