Hope can have sharp edges as it leaves you.

I suffer from chronic nostalgia. Looking back makes me dizzy, queasy, and I yearn for it, ache for it. I want it back; maybe the homesickness will leave then.But it’s not the way I remember it. I long for a past that I didn’t have, for the same experiences with different emotions, without the pain, without the ambivalence, without the fear. My heart remembers two different lives and I long for the one I can only see now, in retrospect.

He was footprints in the snow.Not all loves are meant to last.Some are meant to grace you briefly,before fading,somehow leaving the impressionthat the world is just a little bit betterbecause you had been touched bysomething so beautiful it was impossibleto grasp.

Happiness is a frightening state of being. If we let ourselves be happy, then there is something that can always be taken from us. In one minute, one second, everything can change.

His absence was a presence.Who knew an empty space could take up so much room.

I wanted to feel less.To not be burdened by emotion,To not feel sadness,To not know loss.I envied the inanimate,The trees that stand proudly in winter,Not missing their leaves.