He was the wall I broke myself against. As I tried to tear down his walls, I was freed from my own.

I loved being near you. Even though I felt that bubble you had around you, even though I never quite knew what you were thinking, damn, did I love being near you. Somehow, I knew you would rip me apart and drown me. Somehow, I knew we wouldn’t last. It didn’t matter. You were my sun. I loved feeling you upon me, around me, between me. Even though you could only love me from a distance, I didn’t care. I never felt more warmth inside of me than when you were against me.

I loved the way I could feel him deep in my soul.

I wanted to keep him there to hold me up, to rely on, to remind me that there were places we found in other people that were safer than any walls could keep us.

Love should be easy. Life is hard. Relationships are complicated. But the love, that’s the one thing we should be able to count on.

You can’t make yourself love someone you don’t.”“And you can’t love someone if you don’t let them in. You have the potential for great love. I always felt that capacity within you. Don’t deprive yourself of the opportunity to experience something so beautiful with someone just because you’re holding onto a relationship that will never be.

And you ask me why I love him instead of you...He showed me how to feel safe without walls.

He kept asking me what was wrong that night and I kept responding, "Nothing."But it's all the nothings that silently strangle us and our relationships, isn't it?

Maybe my fear wasn’t that he couldn’t sustain emotional intimacy, but that he could. Maybe the scariest relationships were the ones where both people wanted to be close.