Caro, I don’t understand,” I gasped. “Why do you love me?”“Just because … because the sky is blue and the sea is green.”And then I broke.Everything she’d told me was true. She’d loved me ten years ago, and all the years in between, and she still loved me now. And I didn’t know why; I didn’t understand, but maybe that didn’t matter, because she loved me, and I loved her and I always had. It had only ever been her. My Caro.

Ten years ago he’d said these words to me, told me that he loved me. I’d believed they were the words of a lonely, infatuated boy: real, but not lasting. Now the same man was standing before me, saying that he’d loved me all this time – and that it was real. He didn’t care that I was older than him; he didn’t care that I was ridden with insecurities; and he’d forgiven me for doubting him.

I felt everything. I felt the moment when she let herself believe in me, in our fierce love that a decade apart hadn’t been able to kill; the moment she believed in herself, and everything that I knew she felt, too; and the moment that my heart knew I’d spend the rest of my life with this woman … this amazing, brave, fearless, loving woman.

With her in my arms, all the bullshit fell away. The years of wanting her and missing her and trying to hate her; surviving boot camp; the hell that was Iraq. Ten, long, lonely years of wanting what I couldn’t have.And in four days I’d be gone again, knowing what I’d be missing, daring to hope that she’d wait for me this time.“God, Caro. You make it all worthwhile. Thank God for you.

I love you, Sebastian, please don’t push me away. I love you.”“Oh God. I just don’t know what I’m doing any more; I’m so fucked up—I feel like I can’t fucking breathe. Don’t give up on me, Caro. Please don’t give up on me. I need you, baby. I love you so much. I’m so sorry…