The Obama administration has revealed the size of America's nuclear arsenal. We have 1,000 warheads aimed at China, 1,000 aimed at Russia, and the rest aimed at Fox News.

Folks, tomorrow America will get to hear those four words we've been waiting for: "Former president George Bush".

So China's president [Hu Jintao] meets, uh meets America's president. It's like President "Who?" meeting President "Huh?".

The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump.