Here's a helpful life tip. Stand by things that are white cuz it makes you look less white.

If you have something floating in your drink, then you know you're ready. Seriously, what's in my drink? Aliens. Still gonna drink it.

I don't recommend washing your face. Because you might drown.

You've already got a natural glow, kind of of, cuz you're drunk, so just make it like way more intense, everybody loves someone who's so red in the face. Are you embarrassed? No, I'm just excited to be here. I'm normal, I swear. Do you want my phone number?

It's okay if you can't see what you're doing, cuz even when your eyes are open, you can't see what you're doing.

Make it look like your skin is not so angry at you for your bad life choices.