23 Quotes by Jennifer Crusie about Humor



  • Author Jennifer Crusie
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    What i'm trying to tell you," Min said, "is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf.""thats going to work out well for me," Cal said. "because i'm going to grow up to be one of those horny old men who chases chubby old ladies around the couch.

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  • Author Jennifer Crusie
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    Don't even think about it.""Well, when can I walk by myself?""When you get your driver's license.""You always, always say that." Dillie scowled at him. "That's when everything happens.""It's going to be a busy day," Phin agreed.

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    […] I have a date this afternoon." "Oh, Lord." Jake closed his eyes. "Who are you going to destroy now?""I beg your pardon?""The hotel would appreciate it if you'd just throw back the men you don't like without maiming them.""I haven't maimed anyone.""You almost drowned Lance, you scared Peter into heart palpitations, you stabbed Donald with a fork, and you hit Brad over the head with a bottle." Jake shook his head. "And they still ask you out.

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    North is a powerful man, and you're still connected to him." Flo frowned. "Probably sexual memory, those Capricorns are insatiable. Well, you know. Sea Goat. And of course, you're a Fish. You'll end up back in bed with him."Andie slammed the car door. "You know what I'd like for Christmas, Flo? Boundaries. You can gift me early if you'd like.

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  • Author Jennifer Crusie
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    I'll never forget my first time with you' Min said as she edged the doughnut off her finger. 'The earth moved, and then my mother asked my father who he was going down on at lunch.

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    I suppose you had to," Wes said when Phin went back to join him at the table."Pretty much. She seduced me.""Yeah, right," Wes said. "She said, 'Please fix the kitchen drain,' and you interpreted that--""She said, 'Fuck me.' " Phin put two balls on the table and picked up his cue. "I interpreted that to mean she wanted sex.""Oh." Wes picked up his cue. "That would have been my call, too." He squinted at the table. "Why would she have said that?""On a guess? Because she wanted sex.

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  • Author Jennifer Crusie
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    Bet you ten bucks we make it."What are the odds? she thought, and realized with sudden, blinding clarity that she wouldn't take the other side of that bet, that only a loser would bet against them. This is really it, she thought, amazed. This is really forever. I believe in this."Min?" he said, and she kissed him, putting all her heart into it. "No bet," she said against his mouth. "Your odds are too good.""Our odds are too good

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