the first year on your own is better than the othersthen it's calculating bank accounts and it's thefirst of the month and rent is due and you sit andromanticize your childhood bedroom.

i want to swimin a lake becauseit's what i'mmost afraid of.slime and murkon the bottom.you push meinto the lake andat first i am upsetbut then i get it.

seeking a place to rest my head without shameseeking a father who never worried about meseeking a mother whose body never hurtseeking the piano that could play itselfseeking a person who wants to meet me on a trainseeking a person who knows where estonia isseeking my sense of self i never found–seekingan end to all of this.

...what role do i play inmy familial structure? the onewho feels things and cries a lot.