Found a shaman in a diaper with a poppy pot. When I asked if he was cold, he said just think hot.

I was suppose to be a Jesuit priest or a naval academy graduate.

You've been acting like Jesus owes you a favor, but he's a little smart for you to fool.

You get religion as your hair turns grey.

Today there are two Madonnas, our lady of Fatima over here and that woman from Michigan.

I'm getting old, don't wear underwear, and I don't go to church.