The only way I'll ever make the Ryder Cup team is when I become captain; then I can name myself to the team.

My slogan is who needs fitness when you've got great equipment.

I learned you can't drink whiskey and play golf.

I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

I actually putted the ball really well today.

I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.

Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.

He's tough (Tiger Woods). I wish I was that tough when I was his age.

Seems I used to do everything like I was on a mission. If it was alcohol, I wanted to drink till I couldn't see straight. If it was golf, I wanted to beat everybody's brains out. If it was driving, I can get there faster'n you can. It's not anybody's fault, I guess. I was stubborn as hell. I had no direction.