On the morning in question, she wore white shorts and a pink T-shirt that featured a green dragon breathing a fire of orange glitter. It is difficult to explain how awesome I found this T-shirt at the time.

There's no romance in geometry," Lindsey answered. "Just you wait.

She laughed. ''You seem pretty normal.''''You've never seen Ben snort Sprite up his nose and then spit it out of his mouth,'' I said.''I look like a demented carbonated fountain,'' he deadpanned.

It is May of 2020, and I do not have a brain well suited for this.

Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children.

Columpios apedofilados que se sienten solos buscan culos de niños

and (b) Kissing someone so that you can get a free trip is perilously close to full-on hooking