I want to tell him that I don't know what i feel. I want him but i'm frightened to want him. I don;t want my happiness to be entirely dependent on somebody else's to be a hostage to fortunes I cannot control.

moving on means we have to protect ourselves.

No journey out of grief was straightforward. There would be good days and bad days.

Losing him was like having a hole shot straight through me, a painful, constant reminder, an absence I could never fill.

No journey out of grief was straightforward. There would be good days and bad days. Today was just a bad day, a kink in the road, to be traversed and survived.

Sometimes for our sanity own sanity we just have to look at the bigger picture.

Sometimes I felt as if we were all wading around in grief, reluctant to admit to others how far we were waving or drowning.

When someone we love is snatched from us, it often feels very hard to make plans.Sometimes people feel like they have lost faith in the future, or they become superstitious.

And then, just like that, my heart broke. My face crumpled, my composure went and I held him tightly and I stopped caring that he could feel the shudder of my sobbing body because grief swamped me. It overwhelmed me and tore at my heart and my stomach and my head and it pulled me under, and I couldn’t bear it. I honestly thought I couldn’t bear it.