Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively.

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car.

By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.

The internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom.

Evil is relatively rare; ignorance is epidemic.

It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess. It's that the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because once again they glued their balls to their thighs.