Stay humble as a writer: write on toilet paper.

It’s not great when your husband thinks the only guy who can talk to you, is some other guy.

The only thing which really seemed to pay off in life, if you went by Mary Pedersen's example, was sleeping with your superiors.

He was a strange mix of Heinrich Himmler and Barney the Dinosaur.

I guess all my afternoon beers and burgers were catching up with me, which made me want to scream THEN WHY NOT MY HAIR!?

My view on feng shui: don’t put your bed in front of the door because you won’t get in.