I just want to feel better. My own body is my deepest enemy. It wants, it wants, it wants and when it does not get, it cries and cries and I punish it. How can you live in fear of your own body?

People should know about us. Girls who write their pain on their bodies. ~Louisa

... it's remembering what it's like to cut, and cut hard. The way you have to dig the glass in, deeply, right away, to break the skin and then drag, and drag fiercely, to make a river worth drowning in.

That's what was in my head in the attic when I took broken glass from my tender kit and began to cut myself into tiny pieces.