Why content ourselves with meager fish when we can eat our own animals, the God asked. I can not eat my own ass, though I thought it should be obvious to him. He carries me where so ever I wish.

I jumped up and down and swore violently in seventeen languages.

It's not polite to ask if a man has a big salami in his pants, okay?

You don't even know if she really likes you, Oberon said as we exited and I unlocked my bike. She could be doing her customer service routine and stringing you along in hopes of a big tip the next time you come in. With dogs you just go up and smell their asses and you know where you stand, it's so much easier. Why can't humans do that?

This bastard is so guilty he already has his lawyer here.

When people ask how old I am, I just tell them twenty-one, and if they assume I mean years instead of decades or centuries, then that can't be my fault, can it?