24 Quotes by Kevin Hearne about Humor

  • Author Kevin Hearne
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    Who else can walk around in a suit like that and then disappear without a trace?”“That’s easy,” Granuaile replied. “Keyser Söze.” She blew on the tips of her fingers. “Poof. He’s gone.

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  • Author Kevin Hearne
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    I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.

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  • Author Kevin Hearne
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    Icy glares from vampires are far icier than icy glares from people and when the vampire giving you an icy glare is originally from Iceland, you're confronted with the archetypal origin of the term, and you shouldn't be surprised if your core body temperature drops a few degrees.

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  • Author Kevin Hearne
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    Oh noes, kitteh haz major angriez!” I said. I turned around to share a laugh with my companions and found them glaring at me. “What?” I asked.Leif shook a finger and said in a low, menacing tone, “If you tell me I have to talk like an illiterate halfwit to fit into this society, I will punch you.”“And I’ll pull out your goatee,” Gunnar added.“Lolcat iz new happeh wai 2 talk,” I explained to them. “U doan haz 2 be kitteh 2 speek it.

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  • Author Kevin Hearne
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    First we need to get a buttload of nails.’‘A buttload? How much is that?’‘Uh…’Granuaile rescued me with her superior knowledge of indefinite units of measurement. ‘I believe that’s slightly more than a shitload but much less than a fuckton.

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