I remember one day I was kissing Mason and he spit up in my mouth and I loved it.

You are so annoying. I could literally slap the sh*t out of you and feel so much better.

When we have fights in our family, they don't end with an apology. You make up by getting back to normal. Like you'll call and say, 'You want to go shopping?'

It'd be fun to rip Khloe's pubes out one by one.

When you're breastfeeding, you don't get juicy down there. The juice isn't loose.

I didn't expect to see Kim, but I'm gonna be professional when I really just want to sock her in the face