14 Quotes by Kristen Ashley about funny

  • Author Kristen Ashley
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    “Fuck! ” I shouted and everyone at the espresso counter looked over at us. “Half a million dollars?” Lee dropped his foot and turned to me. “Roxie, calm down.”“Half a million dollars and he bought me cheese puffs and took me to that sleaze bag motel? I’m gonna fucking kill that motherfucker!” I yelled.“Roxie –”I slammed my fists on my knees. “The least he could have done was bind my wrists with VELVET ROPE. He sure could have afforded it. Stupid jerk.

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  • Author Kristen Ashley
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    I’m not going to fucking calm down. I’m going to hunt that bastard down and murderhim.”“Oh fuck,” Hank rocked back on his heels, his eyes went to the ceiling, his hands went to his hips.“What?” I asked.“Nothin’.”“What?” I asked, louder.His eyes came back to me. “You aren’thuntin’ anyone down.”“Wel … no,” I said, staring at him like he was crazy. “I was just saying that because I’m mad as hell. I wouldn’t begin to know how to hunt him down.”

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  • Author Kristen Ashley
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    I’ve been practicin’ my morgue face for when I have to go identify your body. Wanna see it?” Nick said then he arranged his face in this kind of mock, sad, shocked look and slowly shook his head like a world with vigilante social workersmystified him.

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  • Author Kristen Ashley
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    Tex's head snapped in my direction.Fuckin' A, woman, you've never had a s'more? he boomedI shook my head.Christ, everyone's gotta have a s'more before they die. Fuck that shit, I'll build a fire in my backyard tonight and I'll stop by Kumar's on the way home to get the stuff. Everyone can come by-

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  • Author Kristen Ashley
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    Well, this is a fine mess you’ve gotten us into, Good Ava said into my ear.Oo, we’re in Luke’s bed, Bad Ava cooed into my other one.Shit.

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  • Author Kristen Ashley
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    Just think of me as the shoe fairy.” Then he acted like he was bonking me on the head with an imaginary magic wand, “Make your own good memories in those shoes.” I gaped for a second, and then he winked at me. I couldn’t help it, so I smiled at him and then turned to Indy.

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