Life for her was pure survival. A struggle. A test. There was hardly space in her life left for joy & peace.

You are so beautiful! So young! So innocent! And you are mine! I have the right to have you! I want you & I will take you! Whether you want it or not! The price I had to pay for this marriage was too high. Everything makes me feel nauseous & disgusted. I had nowhere to run.

Apart from myself I started to blame one other for everything, God. I was angry, very angry with God! I was in pain & I was angry. Everything happens because of God’s will. So I believed that the horrific events must also be God’s will.

I blamed myself for everything, making myself the reason for all the troubles. It is my lifestyle: taking the blame onto myself to make it easier for others.

There were moments of intense pain & utter darkness that I wanted to end it all. The only thing I wanted was not to live.

…learn how to be unbreakable while being rejected, unwanted, & unloved.