"If you think positively instead of negatively, you'll behave better and you'll feel better."

"Never miss an opportunity to look like a nice guy."

"Children have no reasonable assumption of privacy while they are minors in their parent's home."

"Some women are like elephants. I don't mean size, I mean they never forget."

"Every man knows- you criticize a woman - that's it for sex for the next year."

"Never ask anyone if you should do something, if ultimately you are afraid to do it. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble."

"Everyone has the right to go on a vacation without kids if they want."

"Sometimes guys avoid things they don't know how to do well."

"Nobody leaves a house where there is peace, joy and good sex."

"Going into therapy doesn't guarantee poop on toast."