Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter.

Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of hot chocolate had vinegar added to it and were placed in a refrigerator for several hours.

Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see.