Nature held me close and seemed to find no fault with me.

You were showing him your muscle?”I froze, wondering how much she had seen.She smiled. “Sometimes it’s better to let boysthink they're stronger,” she told me.

The shades of gender in her voice were intricate, like mine.

That’s when I began passing as a man. Strange to be exiled from your own sex to borders that will never be home.

When I was really small I thought I’d do anything to change whatever was wrong with me. Now I didn’t want to change, I just wanted people to stop being mad at me all the time.

All the girls and women looked pretty much the same, so did all the boys and men. I couldn't find myself among the girls. I had never seen any adult woman who looked like I thought I would when I grew up. There were no women on television like the small woman reflected in this mirror, none on the streets. I knew. I was always searching.