I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. So it's hard for me to come up with things, because I don't write stuff, I don't write my act down.

I never write anything down. I write onstage.

It's amazing what I could've written in my life if I had realized that I should keep writing and not masturbating.

Stand-up is the only thing in which you actually write it, act it and direct it simultaneously, so it's actually a great theater exercise.