When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.