Marriage: just say no.

Solberg; nature's greatest argument against cloning.

Friends disregard your failures and endure your successes.

It'd hardly be worth having a brother at all, if you couldn't smack him in the head every once in a while.

Today's problems are yesterday's mistakes coming back to bite you in the ass.

Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.

Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.

You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.