Expect stupid. It's everywhere.

The trouble with insanity is it can flare up at the most inconvenient moments.

If men were necessary in the procreation process, they'd have gone the way of the dodo bird long ago.

Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops.

False hope is better than no hope at all.

All's well so long-as you don't get shot in the hind end with a twenty gauge.

I'm just an everyday kind of hero. If the everyday kind saves babies from burning buildings and looks hotter than hell in bunker gear.

A woman needs a man like a tuba needs a cucumber.

When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all.