Love is like skydiving without a parachute.

There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers.

A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system.

I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.

It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood.

Men have two outstanding features--their brains and their genitalia. Unfortunately, both rarely function simultaneously.

Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars.

Let us talk about oxymoron, common sense, for instance.

Trust is important to any relationship… and easier to come by if you get a picture of a guy's wife buck naked.