Booze and boys, ain't nothing in the universe that'll make a girl stupid faster.

Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.

If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting.

There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste.

And thanks to Christina McMullen, who has taught me that common sense and intelligence need not have any correlation whatsoever.

You really don't know a person until you spend some time in their panties.

Old-age sucks, but the alternative doesn't look that great, either.

He who laughs loudest has a high probability of being extremely inebriated.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not