Claude can't understand but his attempts to comfort me are endearing as they are frustrating. He is too kind to be reprimanded. He could have scolded me; many husbands in his place would have. For some reason, this gentle dove of a man will do no such thing. Instead, he pulls me into a protective embrace.

It warps reality with its unseen hold:The colors of your world are drained out,Bled from your mind untilAll you have left is an ashy, unending gray.You are unable to see beauty any more,It killed all that was beautifulAnd left you to flounder in the ugly abandon.

Claude was a sensitive soul; I couldn't say what I thought to him. My thoughts were spiky with barbs of ugliness. I recognized the darkness in them but could say nothing about it to any of my family members.

I froze at his words. He cried those tears that I was afraid of spilling myself. My numbness burned me; I let those tears fly now to think of him like that. We were both tormented by the trials of this life; trials which had to be endured if we were to continue living.

I had assumed that a boy who loved me so intensely was full of happiness, love, and light so that he was free of his own demons and pain.My assumption was entirely wrong.