"It smelled overwhelmingly of floral air fresheners being used to disguise the scent of marijuana, which works like a charm if you only ask the people smoking the marijuana."

"He didn't think his mother's brother used drugs and yet the number of spoons and trap house Feng Shui seemed to keep the option open."

"It was impeccably clean, and smelled like an old library might smell if someone was eating a Subway sandwich in it. Because someone was eating a Subway sandwich in it."

"His undeniably impressive resume might as well have said he designed an updated swastika for the modern Neo-Nazi, the way brick walls had been put up around his entire field of work."

"He ended up smashing several fax machines for the failure they represented to him, but of course had to pay for them because of what they represented to the Best Buy stores in which they'd been smashed."

"They had thought it was uncharacteristic of him to try and eat his cigarette in the driveway."

"It was as if a mad scientist had sold all of his important tools and chemicals at a yard sale, leaving a makeshift laboratory of scrap materials that the neighbors didn't want."