We get to control what our problems mean based on how much we choose to think about them, the standard by which we choose to measure them

We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond. Whether we consciously recognize it or not, we are always responsible for our experiences.

This entitlement plays out in one of two ways:1.   I’m awesome and the rest of you all suck, so I deserve special treatment.2.   I suck and the rest of you are all awesome, so I deserve special treatment.Opposite mindset on the outside, but the same selfish creamy core in the middle.

Much of the self-help world is predicated on peddling highs to people rather than solving legitimate problems. Many self-help gurus teach you new forms of denial and pump you up with exercises that feel good in the short term, while ignoring the underlying issue (p.33)

Much of the advice out there operates at a shallow level of simply trying to make people feel good in the short term, while the real long-term problems never get solved.

Happiness comes from solving problems. The key word here is 'solving'. If you're avoiding your problems or feel like you don't have any problems, then you're going to make yourself miserable. If you feel like you have problems that you can't solve, you will likewise make yourself miserable. The secret sauce is in the solving of the problems, not in not having problems in the first place.

Often the only difference between a problem being painful or being powerful is a sense that we chose it, and that we are responsible for it. We don't always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond.