Then you fall into this area of numbness I call “I don’t care about all this stuff, I’m going to live or die, but not in fear.

I’m a young man, trained to do what is necessary, but all the training in the world can’t prepare you for the first time you have to kill another human being or see a buddy get blown apart. No, I’m not tough… I’m scared.

The reason for the shaved heads and plain olive drab uniforms when you are recruited into the military is to immediately begin training “you”, the individual, to think as “us” the team.

I’ve been raised by a father who is the consummate macho man. He has a face carved of stone and wouldn’t give anyone the chance to believe that he might have any feelings of pain or sadness. He brought me and my there brothers up not to cry.