My therapist told me that I over-analyze everything. I explained to him that he only thinks this because of his unhappy relationship with his mother.

Presenting a rational argument to a person who has forsaken the use of reason is like asking a vegetarian to eat a cheeseburger.

Quite possibly the only infinite power in the universe may be the human capacity for self-deception.

Jersey Shore has killed more brain cells than alcohol, cocaine, and meth combined.

Obama's plan for "change": Let's do everything Bush did, only with more suck! Because it just didn't suck badly enough the first time!