Tell me, Peppone, what other talents do you have besides erasing undesirables?” “I enjoy a fair bit of sneaking, sir. I also enjoy pilfering and killing as a professional courtesy.” “What a delightfully horrid urchin you are.” “Thank you, sir.

Teaching a man how to clean barnacles from a keel is an amazing useful talent, one any child should be fortunate to learn. Magochiro is our champion barnaclebully at present. String him under a keel, and he will bring back dinner enough for ten.

A heart? Peppone knows where one is to be met with. There is always someone in the black market in need of dying early.

Swearing is a currency the countryside spends well.

Tea was the great arbiter of many things, and for Pastaddams, his morning cup meant the difference between expressing rational thought and succumbing to the ineptitude that occupied recesses of his dormant mind. Merely having the cup in his hand facilitated the flow of ideas, and upon tea, the great nourishment of the tailor’s life, rested all his claims to rational dependence.

I don't talk ill about people I don't know," said Bartleby. "I only disparage them in silence and hope they die.

Any advice for how to be a successful author?""Yes. Don't be a woman. And be dead. And do both at the same time, if you can.

Bartleby is never happy, but he never can be, you know. Life in general offends him. Happiness is something that happens to other people, because life happens to Bartleby. It happens to him frequently and unwarrantedly, and every time he is forced to suffer it, he is always disappointed.