12 Quotes by Mike Harding about humorous

  • Author Mike Harding
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    When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies, the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a nose bleed, which usually cures them of that.

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  • Author Mike Harding
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    ... The Anarchists' [national] anthem is an international anthem that consists of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune of Camptown Races. Nobody has to stand up for it, nobody has to listen to it, and, even better, nobody has to play it.

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  • Author Mike Harding
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    British Israelites: The British Israelites believe the white Anglo-Saxons of Britain to be descended from the ten lost tribes of Israel deported by Sargon of Assyria on the fall of Sumeria in 721 B.C. ... They further believe that the future can be foretold by the measurements of the Great Pyramid, which probably means it will be big and yellow and in the hand of the Arabs. They also believe that if you sleep with your head under the pillow a fairy will come and take all your teeth.

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  • Author Mike Harding
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    Invite them all in. Nip out the back door. Phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled.

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  • Author Mike Harding
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    If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

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  • Author Mike Harding
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    The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of laughter streaming down their faces. The event set a record for hilarious civic functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron Hans Neizant B ompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K oln in 1653.

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  • Author Mike Harding
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    The Gerat Bald Swamp Hedgehog of Billericay displays, in courtship, his single prickle and does impressions of Holiday Inn desk clerks. Since this means him standing motionless for enormous periods of time he is often eaten in full display by The Great Bald Swamp Hedgehog Eater.

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  • Author Mike Harding
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    The people of Halifax also invented the harmonium, a device for castrating pigs during Sunday service.

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