12% of people marry because they are completely in love. 88% of people marry just so they are then liable for only half of their rent.

Working just for money is to some people more humiliating than being unemployed.

The employed are punished by having to do what they do not love. The self-employed are punished by the opposite.

A civilized woman's demands: A man who will (1) make her come … sometimes; but (2) pay the bills … at all times.

When a man's girlfriend's parents ask him what it is that he does for a living: they’re not really concerned about him; they’re concerned about their daughter’s tummy.

If growing up means not seeing one’s family and friends on the regular—all in the name of paying the bills, then growing up is overrated.

If employment really cared about employees, people wouldn’t have to work until retirement comes to their rescue.

Rich people read their bills. Poor people dread theirs.

An angry artist tells people what (he thinks) they need to hear. A hungry artist tells people what (he thinks) they want to hear.