"More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting a pig to be spotless after hosing it down while it was still rolling in mud."

"One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free."

"A man cannot really be called (sexually) confident if he has never bought his woman a vibrator."

"Most if not all sexually active people do not really love having sex; they merely love experiencing an orgasm every now and then."

"The primary goal of a righteous parent who has a daughter is to minimize the number of boys and men for whom their daughter will have willingly opened her legs come her wedding day; the closer to zero, the more righteous they will seem."

"Coco Chanel is said to have said that a girl should be two things: who and what she is. I say a girl should do two things: what and who she wants."

"Some men do not know the father of 'their' children."

"Some people are so sexually unattractive that the thought of masturbating turns them off."

"For good health, watch what you eat. For a good head, watch what you watch."

"Eating healthy is expensive. Not eating healthy is expensive. One dents your pocket. The other dents your health."