"*You only get one chance to make a first impression.* Ah, whatever!!! Who said you get three chances to make the second impression?!!"

"A push-up bra is to a woman’s chest … what 'breathing-in' is to a man’s stomach."

"To see what they look like, women look at a mirror. To look like what they see, women read magazines."

"Your average man is not intelligent enough not to fake being intelligent enough."

"12% of people with glasses wear them as an attempt to see better. 88% of people with glasses wear them as an attempt to appear smarter."

"88% of men impress to undress. 88% of women undress to impress."