I think you're confused most of the times. You just go with the flow till all your choices disappear and you're left with just one path to follow. You postpone decision making. Maybe because most of the times you're scared of facing your thoughts or the reality.

A real connection, one that can’t be denied and defies all reasons—untamed, raw, pure feelings that give the comfort of a Jaguar in a WagonR; the fragrance of a five-star hotel’s fresh linens in a small, cosy mattress; and the thrill of a new gadget in a person who you can call home.

I want to lead a luxurious life with someone who would still be with me without those luxuries.

He would treat me like a child, which was not a bad thing exactly, but came with shades of grey since being a child also came with the inability to make one's own decisions, being dependent on someone else and being directed by an 'elder' about the right course of action.

Maybe I fell in love with a version of him that didn't exist.